


One Night for One Morning

by Pokypup49



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Crying, Eventual Parental Riza Hawkeye, F/M, Love, Royai - Freeform, Unplanned Pregnancy, off a pic, reasoning with one's self
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokypup49/pseuds/Pokypup49
Summary: Riza's having a wonderful morning, till she realizes that she's got bigger problems.





	One Night for One Morning

**Author's Note:**

  * For [caesurables](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=caesurables).



> I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist. Hiromu Arakawa does. 
> 
> I did this off of one of @caesurables fine pieces of Royai fanart on tumblr.  
> HUGE thank you to ruikosakuragi for the Beta. The insight was amazing.  
> Hope you all enjoy!

               Check out the Pic [HERE ](https://caesurables.tumblr.com/post/172690465306/ive-had-this-sitting-in-my-stash-for-daysits)

 

                The morning was beautiful, especially to the standards of the past week. There was no rush, no obligations in the immediate, and for once the blonde military officer could sit and enjoy the sun’s warm embrace on her face. The apartment was a bit colder than usual. Fall time was upon them, and autumn always brought chilly mornings. Soon there would be the thin layer of frost on the plants outside, and condensation would drip down the inside of her window. Falling leaves littered the sidewalk, stirred by the passing cars as they rushed by.  

                Her hand reached out to give Hayate, her faithful dog, a gentle stroke as he curled up tightly on her foot on her bed. His tail carefully covered his nose and he opened one eye lazily to see her walk out of the bedroom before drifting back to sleep. He had gone out earlier that morning; there was no need for him to get up again. But Captain Hawkeye was not one to sleep in. So she made coffee, cuddled under her comforter to warm back up, and read the last few chapters of her book while Black Hayate settled by her leg.

                The hot water of the shower was rejuvenating. It washed away the night’s stress, the soreness of sleeping an hour later than usual, and awakened her senses for a new day. It was a shower that she’d take her time in. She could let the heat penetrate the deep muscles, and let the weeks stress wash down the drain. She missed her short hair but had grown it out again over the past couple years. It felt good with the water running over it. She had nowhere to go till that afternoon. She could afford the extra time in the shower.

                On the floor by her closet was a white shirt that brought back instant memories. Her hand reached down for it with fresh recollections of a few nights past. His hands on her waist, his lips on hers, his hot breath on her neck; the memories would be with her forever. _Each_ of those memories. With a light inhale of the shirt, she could still smell him. He was sneaky, leaving the shirt so she’d to think about him later. It worked. She slipped the shirt on, buttoning it up with a smirk. “Come on, Hayate,” she whispered softly. “It’s breakfast time.”

                She didn’t want to leave her place by the window. It seemed that everything of that morning was more beautiful, tasted richer, and smelled better. All her senses were alive. Kids ran down the street to school, laughing. She could hear the birds chirping quickly on the gutter above her. The sky was light, still awakening from its slumber. It reminded her of a blue shadow cast upon an unaltered field of snow. The English muffin, with a thick apricot jam, rested on her little plate with a definitive bite taken from it. She could smell the apricots. She preferred them over peaches because of their tartness. Riza kept a jar of apricot jam in her fridge just because of the sweet memories of eating them from the trees as a child. Her coffee was most fragrant, and the cup radiated a soothing warmth to her hands.

                Riza tilted her head to the side, letting her nose creep closer to the collar of the abandoned shirt. The spot of cologne that he dabbed on his neck was always rubbed off on the collar. Another sly trick of his. The idea to never return the personal item was deeply considered, or at least until a replacement had arrived. She wouldn't deny the simple comforts. Even with the victory of the Promised Day, she could not forgive her actions in Ishval. This dreary thought, however, would not drown out her happiness that morning with the sun bright, the fall colors vibrant, and a delightfully warm cup in her hands. The morning was a gift to her. One should never refuse a gift.

                Another whiff of him. There was a sneaky lurking of desire to have him right then; to call him and tell him that she needed him. But she understood why she couldn’t. She _knew_ why. Absence made the heart fonder, even if it was only for a few hours. Away in the recess of her logical mind, she knew what they had was going to end. They were already treading on dangerous ground. The joy of expressing what they had hidden for so long could not last forever. His presence on the nights which he did linger too long between her sheet was another gift that shouldn’t be dismissed. Not yet.

                Riza lifted the coffee to her lips and smiled as she felt the rich brew, with just a dash of milk, warm her from the mouth down to her stomach.

                The refusal of the coffee came quick. She turned from the window, feeling her mouth salivate with the coming rejection. The coffee cup landed roughly on the table as she rushed to the bathroom, reaching desperately for the toilet. Her breakfast, her coffee, the sun’s embrace were ripped from her. Her breath was stolen with the surge of her stomach’s content being ejected. There was no time to stop and wonder why as a second round quickly rushed up.

                Fingers gripped the rim, whitening with the aggressive pressure, as her back arched with another hurl. Acid burned the throat, her mouth snapping with the disgusting taste. Her stomach tightened, sucking against her spine as another threatened with force to be free. She refused to move. Her eyes shut tightly as she gasped for breath before it expelled itself.

                “Damn it,” she groaned. A hand released its tight grip to wipe the corner of her lips with her thumb as she looked up.

                One could not gain something without giving something in return. All actions had consequences. She turned her head to glance at her Hayate looking curiously at her, his head tilted to the side. She took another deep breath but even that could not be enjoyed as the last remnants her stomach was expelled.

                She knew. She knew exactly.

                She’d never felt it before, never experienced it before, but she _knew_. Like careless teenagers, young adults who were selfish and unaware of the world’s ways, they had allowed themselves to indulge. Their limbs tangling in the sheets, their laughter in the air, their moans against each other’s skin; all had repercussions. A shaking hand reached up and flushed the toilet as her head dropped to the rim of the cold porcelain. There was no question why.

                Riza crossed her legs, folding her arms under her forehead, sitting in a heap of despair and embarrassment. The perception of the morning’s happiness had fled her. Tears spilled from her eyes. The shoulders of a once proud officer sagged under the great weight she had inherited, each quiet hack shuttering them. There could be no bargaining, pleading for a re-do or wishing it away. The consequences were written in stone and could not be erased. She couldn’t blame Roy, it wasn’t entirely his fault. She knew this could have happened, even in the most denial part of their mind. She wanted to regret it. She wanted to hate it. But Riza couldn’t even do that. She could never regret being held and loved by him. Never in her life had she ever felt that safe and loved by anyone. The evidence that was flushed away was reputable proof of their happiness.

 _No_ . Her chest tightened as another sob was coughed out. _The price for my sins will not bring me happiness_ . This was the truth. Her role in Ishval would never go away. _But how can I ever atone for them now?_ Salty droplets crashed onto the tile.  

                Worse. His ambitions to free himself of his own crimes relied on his ability to climb the ladder to Führer. His dreams to change the country would crumble.  

                Everything that they worked for would collapse like old ruins around them.

                They could hide it. She could take the humiliation, the ridicule, and say it wasn’t his, and that it was from a man whose name she couldn’t remember. She would inherit the reputation which would tarnish her integrity as an officer. Truth be told, no one would believe her. She’d take the fall to save him, if he’d let her. But Roy wouldn’t let her. It wasn’t like him to do that. Her back trembled with each round of tears. They both were now in a position that they couldn’t get out of.

                She lifted her head to stare at the ceiling, reaching for a tissue to wipe the runny clear snot from her nose. Rapid breaths fought for composure. She would not blame him. Wasn’t she supposed to be the one to protect him? Not once in the past months, or the past year did she ever stop him. Instead, she welcomed him as he pressed her against the wall or pulled her legs so that she was under him. She _begged_ for him. They were both guilty of this. However, Riza felt personally responsible for her failure to protect the one she swore her life to do so. _I’m sorry_ . She lowered her head, letting another rush of tears spill forward. _Damn it, Roy. I’m so sorry_. The cologne brought him close, even if it was just in thought, and she felt the tears rush forward with a greater force than before. If he wasn’t there in body to comfort her now, then he was in smell.

                Fear of his reaction wasn’t plaguing her as some of the other thoughts. It didn’t matter what he thought. It wasn’t something that could be taken back. Her arms straightened as she stood up and she sniffed loudly. Weakly hovering over the sink, she splashed her face with cold water. She didn’t fear him. The trust was strong enough between them that fear was not something which concerned her. He’d be disappointed, maybe alarmed, concerned, and then disappointed again. But his disappointment would be in himself. He wouldn’t be angry. Maybe sorry, but not regretful either. Riza splashed her face again, taking in one last deep breath of his lingering scent over her rancid puke.

                Hayate whined as he sat next to her feet. Bare on the tile floor, her feet were forgetful to feel the cold’s abuse. Her blonde hair fell around her face as she looked down at him. “You’re right,” she smiled weakly. “I can’t regret my decisions. I can only move forward with them.” There was no doubt that she’d do her best to raise the child. There’d be one more responsibility, one that she was sure she’d love. Though family was a distant concept, she’d try. After all, at one point she had thought about children. She just never thought she deserved one. The thought was thrown aside when she saluted a certain Lieutenant-Colonel and swore her life to him. A child was a luxury, undeserving to war criminals.

                Hayate wagged his tail as he tilted his head with a smile of his own. She’d have accepted her consequences. The current guilt was hard to shake, and it wasn’t going to depart easily. It wasn’t going to be easy at all. But nothing worthwhile was.

                As the sun returned to her face, a welcome from her forced departure, she turned away from it. The comforts just moments ago were not so welcomed again. The only way to make up for this would be for her child, their child, to be better than both of them. That quick thought stopped to linger. “I suppose that is a reasonable exchange,” she whispered to herself. She didn’t know where to start. What did she need to do? A child felt so much more complicated than protecting General Mustang. And on most days, it was tough enough just keeping him in one spot. Routine military work was easy. It was something that she had grown into. Her role was defined and she understood what was expected of her. A child? The role of a mother was completely undefined. There was no such thing as a routine with a child.

                Work still needed to be done, life still needed to be lived. If she left soon, she could walk to work, taking the long way around. It’d be a good time to meditate and decide the next steps to take, whatever those were. As Riza slipped her blue pants on, pulling the belt tight, she heard the phone ring sharply from the kitchen. It was him. He was calling to ask if she’d join him for lunch. The lunch he always asked her to join. The lunch she always said “no” to.

                “Good morning,” his voice beamed from the other end. At least that made her smile, even if it was weak. He was not a morning person by a long shot.

                “Good morning, General.” Riza wondered if he could hear the worrisome anxiety that she so expertly hid.

                “There’s this place that just opened up on Bennett Ave. I hear they have the best shrimp scampi. Would you like to test that bold accusation with me?” There was little proof that any food would be held down. She wondered if it'd make her sicker?

                Riza rubbed her forehead with a gentle smile. He always did have a habit of calling just when she needed to hear his voice. But what she wanted was not his voice, but his arms around her, his nose in the crook of her neck, and whispers of fond affections. Days old cologne did not cut it for what comforts she needed...

                “I would love to.”

                Maybe his company would suffice.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope all of you enjoyed that one. You can enjoy the art at caesurables.tumblr.com. She's got some other great works of art. Go check her out!!  
> On that note, you can always find me @snowdog49 on tumblr as well.  
> Thank you for being a reader!


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